The Crash Manifesto

The Crash is here to play rock and roll.
The Crash is Portland’s loudest, most unnecessary, and a destructive three-piece band.
The Crash is not cute, does not want to compete for prizes, have no interest in appearing on television.
The Crash does not have or need a second guitar player, keyboards, synthesizers, turntables, background singers, or pre-recorded rhythm tracks.
The Crash appears only after dark, in small, loud, smoke-filled rooms where people are living for that whiskey, wine, and gin.
The Crash is NOT a smoke-free band.
The Crash loves dancers of all types, and always provides a space for people to go crazy and gyrate.
The Crash is maniacally creating the type of music they enjoy, which is not weird for the sake of being weird but doesn’t sound like everyone else, either.
The Crash practices extensively in a highly customized sub-terranian studio so that they can make new mistakes for you each time they play.
The Crash plays other people’s music but doesn’t sound like them.
The Crash is a live band that improvises much of their music to make sure it is fresh and never boring.
The Crash invites you to come to check them out at the dive bar nearest your present location and join the mayhem.

ALL HAIL THE CRASH!!